It is pouring outside. It's one of those rainy days that make you snooze your alarm clock and crawl under the covers as the rain drops lull you back to dreamland. The overcast grey colored skies can be dreadful especially after a long winter. But it is a reminder that good things are going to … Continue reading April Showers bring May Flowers
I'm starting to feel alive again. I feel very grateful. I have my unemployment. My savings hold cleared. And I didn't get the job that I didn't want in the first place. I'm truly believing that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve my dream of living a life of social justice in a … Continue reading And the journey continues to live out my purpose
My last post was pretty depressing yet motivational. I talked about how my body is in fight mode. I've been feeling stressed, depressed and unmotivated yet I'm deciding to keep fighting. Earlier today, I told a friend of mine that I feel like I'm going through a form of bipolar. Some days I'm depressed and other days … Continue reading Ups and Downs
My body is in fight mode. My mind is anxious. My body is tense. My nerves are raw. There are nights I can't sleep. My body has decided to go into instinctual survival mode. According to BodySolutions.com, the body enters fight or flight mode as a response to a perceived threat. "When our fight or … Continue reading Fight or Flight
After falling into a deep depressing state over the weekend, I was comforted to know that I'm not alone in this struggle to find a fulfilling career that I am absolutely passionate about. The struggle is real.... for everyone. Yesterday, I visited a job seeker drop-in at the Harvard Ed Portal. It was so amazing! … Continue reading I am not alone
As I’m stuggling to find a church home, many of my concerns of compromising my feminist and activism values for the patriarchal nature of the black church is articulated in this blog post. I find comfort in the gospel music and ending my week with my people. But when I see a pulpit full of men or I attend a church focused on passing Jesus pamphlets versus joining an activist movement I grow weary.
Historically, the black church drove social movements. It was the space where blacks could be. They held leadership roles. The sang. They danced. They cried. They preached. They marched. They protested. They changed society.
And there are still many churches like that it’s just that they are hard to come by. It’s even harder to find a black church with progressive gender beliefs. I need to see some women on the pulpit.
So I understand Makiah.
My unapologetic, Black self. 2016.
I haven’t been to church in over a year now, and I’ve been pondering how I should address what I’ve discovered along the way. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you probably could’ve never guessed that I would end up here. I never imagined that I could exist outside the Church I once held so dear. But due to the routine state-sanctioned violence that is being inflicted on my people, and the inadequate response from the church (among other things), I have decided to remove myself entirely from a system that claims to value my soul, but fails to show up for my Black body. I’ll probably end up writing a book about this one day, but in the meantime, here are 20 things I’ve learned since leaving the church:
- God is not a man.
- There is no pre-determined path called “God’s will”…
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A few months ago, I attended a church service and the pastor posed the question, "Close your eyes and think of home. What do you see? Where's home?" At the time, I thought of Chicago and my family and friends. Last week, as I was finishing a grueling, hectic and stressful summer teaching program in … Continue reading Home
"The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty."- Anne Lamont This quote really confounds me because as a young person growing up in a religious Christian household, I was taught to believe in the certainty of faith. I memorized the famous scripture. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not … Continue reading The doubt in faith
"Believe in your potential even if you haven't seen the results."- Gaby Natale
So my boss told me that he wasn't going to hold a teaching position for me in the fall. That means I am unemployed again. The obvious issue is the fact that I am 1000 miles away from close family and friends and I just renewed my lease. Scary, right? But I'm not scared. I … Continue reading Unemployed Again