20 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Leaving the Church

As I’m stuggling to find a church home, many of my concerns of compromising my feminist and activism values for the patriarchal nature of the black church is articulated in this blog post. I find comfort in the gospel music and ending my week with my people. But when I see a pulpit full of men or I attend a church focused on passing Jesus pamphlets versus joining an activist movement I grow weary.

Historically, the black church drove social movements. It was the space where blacks could be. They held leadership roles. The sang. They danced. They cried. They preached. They marched. They protested. They changed society.

And there are still many churches like that it’s just that they are hard to come by. It’s even harder to find a black church with progressive gender beliefs. I need to see some women on the pulpit.

So I understand Makiah.


IMG_0196 My unapologetic, Black self. 2016.

I haven’t been to church in over a year now, and I’ve been pondering how I should address what I’ve discovered along the way. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you probably could’ve never guessed that I would end up here. I never imagined that I could exist outside the Church I once held so dear. But due to the routine state-sanctioned violence that is being inflicted on my people, and the inadequate response from the church (among other things), I have decided to remove myself entirely from a system that claims to value my soul, but fails to show up for my Black body. I’ll probably end up writing a book about this one day, but in the meantime, here are 20 things I’ve learned since leaving the church:

  1. God is not a man.
  2. There is no pre-determined path called “God’s will”…

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