It started in my Body
A reaction to something she said
‘I only date black men.’
Body flinched
My Mouth betrayed me by staying shut
My Mind rationalized the comment telling me that everyone has a type
But my Brain knew
Because as comments came, my Brain sent signals to my soul
It heightened my nervous system
It warned me that I was unsafe
It told me to fight
But my Mind continued to rationalize
“Be nice.” It said
“She knows no better.”
“She is from Maine.”
But my Brain wasn’t fooled
It began to send needles to my skin every time she said
“We’ll have pretty babies.”
My brain sent alarm bells to my ears when I heard
“Oooh, he’s so light skin.”
My brain sent a bullet to my head when she said
“He isn’t black enough.”
Fight!
My mouth opened
“Black enough?”
I decided to repackage the bullets into soft blows
“You say racist stuff.”
Release.
And for a while my brain rested
But the damage had been done
Because every little thing she did began to annoy me
Her basic roommate idiosyncrasies frustrated me
Her complaints of my “red sauce” from my ethnic food aggravated me
Her nitpickiness got to me
So when she lied on my other roommate’s black brother
And lied to me about it
My Brain finally took over my Mind and Body
Fire!
Blow the Canon
Burn her with your words
Call her out
Don’t let her play you for a fool
So I did
I fought until the fire extinguished
Until my body filled with smoke
And the smoke turned to dust
And the dust cooled
My Brain said
Freeze!
My Mind and Body were frozen
Each little lie she told would bounce off my icy eyes
Each request to wipe off black pepper flakes
I would turn a cold shoulder
But my nervous system is tired of the winter
It needs to be firing and my blood needs to flow warmly and freely
So now my Brain is telling me to leave
But my Mind has resurfaced
“You have financial goals.” It says
“You need a roommate.”
“You don’t want to move again. You may have another crazy roommate.”
“Make it work.”
But my Brain is sending me signals again
But they are weak
If I stay, my nervous system will completely break
I exhausted my flight mechanism
I have cracked my freezing system
My Body can’t take any more
My Brain is telling me that it is time to take Flight