A lot on my mind and ramblings about possibilities

Beware: This is a blog post of ramblings….. It has no order or purpose or special meaning. 

I’ve been M.I.A. Sometimes I disappear when I have a lot on my mind. Other times, I just let my thoughts flow through my finger tips and into the blogosphere. I think part of my disappearance is due to my traveling to Boston for an interview. (Woohoo! Long time coming.. I know) I get drained really fast and it takes a lot for me to interact with people even if I’m in a decent mood. Sometimes, I feel bad about it. I had a friend call me last week in which I haven’t return her call yet (she’ll definitely say something about it), another texted to check in on my interview and another friend texted me today. The one that texted me today, I need to call her because she’s such a great friend. She literally called me during her lunch break while I was in Boston to check on me and give me advice. I’ll call all of my awesome friends this week….. Ok. Let me not over do it but maybe two of them lol.

Another cause of drainage was from visiting my aunt for the weekend. Not that she is draining! I just think the past week was stressful.

But I’m glad that I visited her and she was happy as well. In fact, she was bittersweet because she is somehow convinced that I’ll be getting the job in Boston. Therefore, according to her, that would be my last weekend visiting her in a while. She wants to see me one more time this upcoming weekend for my birthday. She already bought an outfit even though I haven’t planned anything yet!  Hahaha… Lol. I’m still in drain mode and the only thing I’m thinking about is getting a spa and beauty treatment: the works(mani, pedi, massage, hair) The thought of relaxation is making me say “YASSS!”  But I told her I’ll let her know because if I do get the job in Boston, I’d probably want to celebrate it in addition to my birthday with my closest friends and family. But we’ll see, I’m feeling very introverted this week.

Random thought….I’m thinking, I am such a dichotomy. My love language is “quality time” with friends and family yet I’m an introvert. We’ll see what side will win the battle this weekend!

Actually, I’ve been really thinking about Boston a lot. What if I really do get it? I already got accepted for a summer position in Baltimore and I leave next week. If I get the job in Boston, I’ll have to start after the summer program meaning this would basically be my last week and a half in Chicago.

I’ll be away from family. I never really thought of this. I know I complain about my siblings and parents but I really do love them and given that my love language is “quality time”, moving will be hard. I’ll miss all of them including my aunts and cousins and besties. Moving away is scary. I consider myself independent but I do believe that it is good to have a social circle of people you can talk to, rely on and hang out with! If I move then I would need to literally create a new family.

But it’s possible. People do it all the time. Kids leave high school and they venture to a foreign place called “college campus” and most tend to create families of new friends. Many of these relationships last for life.

That really shows the beauty of humanity. We have the ability to face fears, let go and start something new.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m writing… I’m literally just rambling. This is all speculation. There is a chance that I will not get the Boston position but it doesn’t hurt to wonder about how my life might drastically change if I do get the offer.

Nevertheless, I’m feeling peaceful and I am grateful for possibilities, family, change, an upcoming birthday and of course my acceptance to a paid teaching summer program!

I hope you find this post entertaining in some way.

Esther

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